Geek Parenting #1: Toy Story

Every parent of a toddler knows that most pre-school toys are rubbish; they're noisy and annoying, and you can never find the off button when you accidentally set them off! We will stand on AWOL toy shrapnel with our bare feet when going for a midnight zombie-walk to the toilet on a weekly basis...it can be a war zone!

Anyway, my little girl recently got two MASSIVE tubs of Duplo bricks from her grandparents (for anyone that doesn't know what Duplo is, it's basically big Lego), she literally got enough to make Duplo world! Finally, cool kiddie toys! So, like any respectable father I decided to test exactly how much Duplo we had and I built a tower in the living-room. I made it wide enough to fit several of her dolls inside, and it touched the ceiling in height. I was ready to take it outside and keep going, we had a lot of Duplo...my wife made me take it down before it fell over and killed the cat.

Lydia's idea of playing with her tubs of Duplo is to simply tip them all over the floor, both tubs, everywhere! I needed to guide my young padawan, teach her the art of the Duplo. But how? Well, she always points at my G1 Optimus Prime and goes 'Chooo chooo!', she thinks it's a train (awww), and she wants to play with him (not happening!). She's managed to pick it up just once, before I freaked out and quickly saved him from this mini Terminator. Knowing she loved my Autobot so much I decided we would make a giant Transformer with the Duplo bricks!



We used almost all of the red and blue Duplo to construct Optimus, and he took two attempts to build. The first attempt was smashed into several parts by Lydia playing Godzilla with a cushion, laughing her evil laugh as she watched me in slow motion; "NOOOOOOOOOOO!"...WHACK!

Lydia still pours the bricks everywhere. She started pointing at my R2D2 plush and saying; 'TOO DEE TOO!", did we make him with the duplo? No, I just give him to her;

What Do You Want To Be When You Grow Up?

Back at primary school, you'd hear this question all the time. Then the usual answers from kids; Firemen (Fire Fighter now, in our politically correct world), Doctors and Nurses, Vets...I'd just sit there daydreaming, thinking to myself, I want to be...


5. A Cyborg

Yeah, so as a kid two of my favourite films were Terminator and Robocop (they still are), they were inappropriate films for my age, but I'd watched them and the idea of being made into a cyborg was cool. Obviously now I can see the implications...pretty sure Robocop didn't get to keep his todger, that wouldn't be fun (poor guy)! And airports would be a nightmare! But, as a kid I would pretend to walk like a robot and talk in a monotone voice, yeah I was awesome.

Alternatively: I also wanted to be 'wolverine', cos he was kinda like a cyborg, but also kinda like a ninja, and also one of the X-Men!




4. A Thundercat

When I was a kid I owned about 3 different Liono's, because my next door neighbour at the time had a bad habit of throwing my toys out of his bedroom window...I'm really not sure why I was friends with that boy. One of them was missing an arm and the other had no legs! So, I had 2 stunt-double Liono's for my full-working Liono. I was a dedicated fan.

Alternatively: I also wanted to be in the 'Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles'



3. A Tyrannosaurus Rex

Right, ok these are getting ridiculous. But, when I saw Jurassic Park at the cinemas it blew my tiny little mind! I think it was the summer holidays before going to high school, before innocence was lost forever...I still sometimes walk around the house like a T-Rex, cos I've got a two year old daughter, yeah, that's why.

Alternatively: I also wanted to be Godzilla!



2. A Ghostbuster

What kid didn't pretend to be a Ghostbuster in the 80's-90's!? Wearing their backpack with a water pistol attached. Actually, thinking about it, I kinda remember owning an actual Ghostbusters plasma Gun.

Alternatively: I also wanted to be in the A-Team



1. A Jedi

As a kid there was nothing cooler to me than a Jedi! I'm finding it hard to think of something cooler even now! Anything can be a lightsaber with a little imagination.


We've all been there;




In reality my real dream (one that was slightly more achievable anyway) was to be a comic book artist or cartoonist. When you was a kid, what did you want to be when you grew up? Leave a comment to let me know. Fantasy or Reality!